Getting so close...

We are getting so close now.  I received our "legals" in the mail today from Dillon, our adoption agency.  I am excited, but it was kinda sad this morning looking through Micah's papers and seeing his birth mother's name and age, his birth grandfather's name, and reading about him being turned over to the agency in India.  Words can't express the gratitude I feel to be able to have this opportunity to love Micah, but I know that it comes at another family's loss.

So, now I have lots more copies to make, documents to download, and paperwork to organize. We have a whole bunch of papers that have to go to India with us and be filed there.  It's very nerve-racking to me for some reason.  Anyway, we are down to our last little waiting game, I hope.

1. We are waiting on our ICPC approval from our state which hopefully will come by the end of next week.  
2. We are waiting on our visas to get here, which should arrive by the middle of next week.
   
3. We are waiting on Micah's passport approval.  We have been given a tentative bit of hope that this could come sometime between the end of next week and Feb. 14th.

Once we have confirmation of these 3 documents, we can purchase our plane tickets!  It's difficult having to do that at the last minute and not knowing when you are going to be traveling.  I am a stay-at-home mom, so I could pack up and go tomorrow.  However, with my husband being a school teacher and a worship leader at our church, it has been a little difficult for him to draw up lesson plans and plan music for services when he doesn't know when he'll be gone.  Also, with 3 other children at home, we have only been able to make general plans for where they will be staying, how they will get to school, and who will take them to their ball games. :)  

Even with all the uncertainty, we are going to shoot for flying out on Valentines Day...a very romantic and memorable way to spend the day!  If the passport approval doesn't come through by then, we will just take it week by week and plan to leave the first Saturday after we receive it.  So...we wait...

Taste and See...

Today we found out that our legals have been mailed from India and should arrive at Dillon in Oklahoma by next week! If everything is correct, it looks like we will not have to redo our home study! Yeah!

I am overflowing with gratefulness at the way the Lord has "shown" himself faithful to us during this adoption process. He is always faithful, whether we see it or not, but it has been so humbling for us to get to "see" the Lord acting on Micah's behalf, as we have tried to follow His leading.

This week the Lord spoke to my heart with a verse...Psalms 34:8. "Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!" I've heard my whole life about the Lord's goodness, but I don't remember ever getting to "taste" His goodness in the way we have during this adoption process. Maybe it is because we have talked about adoption for years, but it was not until we "took a bite" and committed ourselves, that the Lord let us participate in and see His working as a Father to the fatherless. I think so many carry their faith and knowledge of God's goodness around like an apple in the palm of their hands. It is beautiful, but will do nothing but eventually rot and die, unless we take a bite. Faith without action is useless.

We have Guardianship!

Today the judge signed our paperwork making us Utsab's legal guardians!  I officially have another son...even though I don't yet physically "have" my other son. :)  I am suddenly at a loss with so many questions, and so much to do with very little time to do it.  Good thing I am not someone who panics easily. :)

I did get some things mixed up when I was trying to let you know what comes next in the process.  I guess ISRC, the orphanage, applies for Utsab's Indian passport, and we apply for his visa...which I guess is the reason we have to go to Delhi.  Who knew?  I was not even sure why we were going there.  :)  My sweet case-worker at Dillon keeps me acurate which I'm thankful for.  That way when I look back on my blogs, I won't be as confused. :)  Her explanation is below...

"he will have an Indian passport and ISRC has applied for that, but the visa process is a U.S. visa and that is what you will be doing when you are there.  The I-600 form you file in New Delhi approves Utsab’s to “receive” a visa, then you file the DS-230 at the U.S. Consulate in Kolkata and that is the actual application for the visa and you will receive Utsab’s visa from the Consulate in Kolkata while you are there."

Does that make everything clear for you? :)  Easy as pie.  To those of you who know me and my sweet but travel challenged husband...we should have no problems, right! :)  Oh, well.  I'm too excited right now this minute to care.  I'll worry about the details this afternoon after I've had my shower and had time to process what I've just learned. :)

Case Approved!

I learned today that the judge in India has approved Micah's (Utsab's) case!  Yeah!  Now the attorneys for ISRC (our adoption agency in India) will draw up the guardianship papers in Utsab's name and then place them on the judge's desk for him to sign...making it official!  Now we wait for the Visa's and Passports to be applied for, and for the paperwork to make it back to Dillon, our agency here in the states.  They will then apply for our ICPC approval and we can purchase our plane tickets!  Of course all of this needs to be done by February 15th, before our home study expires. :)  No pressure.  It would be a huge help too if we could get our income tax refund before we travel. I'm sure glad the Lord knows what He is doing.  The funds are His, so I know we'll have what we need when we need it.  Of course there are no guarantees, but it looks like we will be able to travel and pick Micah up just before his first birthday on March 5!

Giving Your Heart

When do you throw your heart into the mix in your adoption process?  At the referral photo?  At the court date?  When you hold your child for the first time?  This is one of the current questions on the RLC website.  I am still in the process right now, but thought I'd share my experience so far.  In reality, I think that a mother's heart is involved from the minute she begins the application process.  Something has already led her heart to take such a huge step.  

I am not sure if my experience has been different from most others, or if other adopting moms feel the same way, but I have felt myself trying to "withhold" my heart a little bit.  Even after seeing the referral photo, I have tried to hold back just a little.  I have avoided shopping.  I have focused on my other children and tried to stay busy.  I have filled out the paperwork like I was just doing a job.   I do love Utsab already, even though I have never met him.   I have, however, reminded myself constantly that right now he is God's child and not mine.  God is a Father to the fatherless.  There was no way that we could financially do an adoption, so we told God in the beginning that He had to make this happen.  We've said from the beginning that the entire process must be in His hands.  That includes the finances, the referral (we told the Lord we would take the first child that He sent our way), and the timing of our paperwork.  

I think that I will not be able to really let my heart go, with abandon, until I have Utsab in my arms.  Right or wrong, I think this focus has somehow helped me to cope with the emotional roller coaster of adoption, and the agonizing of "the wait," better than I might have.  Being reminded in scripture that God loves Utsab already more than I ever could, and that He is in control of all things, is comforting in a process where the adopting parent has almost no control at all.

Family!

Today Micah is 10 months old! I was thinking about him off and on all day and wishing that he had been here already for our family photo. This Christmas, we were ALL able to be together, with our families and he was the only one missing. :( I have 6 sisters and 1 brother. Four of us are married with children of our own. We are a very close family and we have so much fun together. I cannot wait for Micah to join the mix! He already has 3 cousins who are a couple years older, he has one cousin who is 11 months older, and another cousin who is 3 months younger, and then another who is 6 months younger...and that is just my side of the family! It's awesome knowing that Micah will be in the next family photo! Happy 10 month birthday, Micah!