Managing Memories

I am reading an excellant book by Mark Batterson, called "Soul Print." In chapter 2 Mark talks about the importance of Lifesymbols in remembering important things from our past and how God was faithful in and through each experience. At one point he mentions...

"One of my earliest and strongest memories is the first time I rode a bike. Part of the reason the memory is so strong is because I've heard my parents tell the story so many times. And that is one of the jobs of parents. They manage their children's memories by the stories they tell, the keepsakes they save, and the pictures they take."

This made me stop to think about the memories I am helping to manage for all my children, but especially Micah's. We made him a memory book of "his story" of becoming part of our family and he loves to read it all the time. He even makes up "memories" of when he was a baby in India. However, I started to wonder if that was enough.

This month is National Adoption Awareness Month, and we recently had an Adoption Awareness Sunday at our church. We invited speaker and author, Ted Kluck, to come and speak. He is the author of the book, "Hello, I Love You," and it is the story of their adoption journey to their two boys from the Ukraine. Part of the book was bits and pieces of the journal letters he wrote to his first son during his adoption process. Their family had an extremely difficult adoption experience, but throughout the story was woven threads of joy and beauty in the process that he wanted to remember so that he could share these things with his sons as they got older.

Of course I was reminded of my time in India as we traveled to bring Micah home. Our process was extremely smooth, but I had a very difficult time in the country and came back with some very negative feelings and little desire to go back. I was reminded by our dear caseworker that I needed to give it time, but I also needed to remember the good things about our time there and maybe even write them down. This would enable me to begin to look on my sons birth country with fondness and maybe even love as we shared the memories together as he grows and wants to know more of his story.

This was a fantastic idea, and as the years begin to pass by since Micah's adoption experience, I find myself remembering more and more the good things over the difficult. I am taking the task seriously to manage Micah's memories and I hope that as he grows, the memories will fill him with joy and thanksgiving!

Choices

Last night as I watched the news and heard about Steve Jobs passing away, I was saddened. I am not a "techy" person and do not understand any of it, but my husband is a Mac and I-phone user, so I am familiar with the contributions that Apple has made to our generation. :)

What I did take away from the stories I heard last night was one in particular that made my heart smile. Steve Jobs was born to an unwed college student who chose to place him up for adoption instead of choosing abortion for her son. Maybe a seemingly insignigicant choice to her at the time, or maybe one that she agonized over. Whatever the case, she chose life, and that son literally changed our world and the way we communicate today!

Just goes to show that EVERY choice that we make is significant! We might never see the results, or know the people it has affected, either negatively or poitively, but it has affected something or someone. Last night I was reminded that choosing to do things God's way just makes sense!

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I heard a comparison today between Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken," and the scripture in Matthew 7:13-14, which compares 2 gates. In the poem, the author chooses the path less traveled by and says that his choice made all the difference. In Matthew, Christ says, "For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it." The question was then asked of the comparison..."What path in your life have you followed that my have been the "path less traveled by?"

Now, neither the poem nor the scripture is speaking about adoption specifically, but that is the first thing that came to my mind. Adoption is definitely the path less traveled by, and unfortunately, there are few who seem to enter this gate and experience the life and blessing that adoption brings. Adoption is a huge step of faith, and I am beginning to think that FAITH is the road less traveled by. It surely leads to LIFE, and without making the decision to step out in faith, we miss so much of God's blessing in our lives. I am sorry to say, there are not very many times I have stepped out in faith to follow where I feel God leading. It is easier to step out if you feel like it all works on paper, or if it is within your control, etc. But, by hesitating, or choosing the clearer path, we miss seeing and experiencing the MIRACLES of God! In our journey through life, I wish these experiences were the norm instead of just occasional occurances!

What would life be like if we all "took the road less traveled by?" I think it would make "all the difference!"

Children's Books

My friend and fellow Dillon adoption mom, Nancy, recently posted about a couple of adoption related children's books that she likes. They were "Bringing Asha Home" and "You're Not My Real Mother!" I am always looking for great children's books on adoption and India, so I am excited to check them out. Her post also gave me the idea to share a couple of the adoption and India related children's books that I have come across this year and added to my kids little library.

1. "God Found Us You," by Lisa Tawn Bergren - A sweet, sweet book about an adoptive mom's wait for her little one to come home!
2. "Shaoey and Dot," by Mary Beth Chapman - A cute story about a chinese adoption.
3. "A Family for Jamie," by Suzanne Bloom - A great story about a couple wanting to start a family and how adoption brings that to pass!
4. "I is for India," by Prodeepta Das - Not an adoption story, but a great children's book that uses the alphabet to tell about India, it's people, and customs. It has beautiful pictures!

My favorite book of all is the one we made for Micah. It's called "Micah's Story" and we had it printed right after we brought him home. You can make them at Shutterfly or Snapfish very easily and inexpensively. Micah's book starts off with pics of our family before adoption. Then we have pictures of David and me at the airport leaving for India. This is followed by pictures of Micah at different ages in the orphanage taken by other families and then the ones we took once we arrived. Then there are a few pictures of the city, traffic, us out shopping, at the hotel, etc., followed by pictures of us with Micah getting on the plane to come home. Finally we end with a photo of our entire family together at last at our home airport! Micah LOVES his book and wants to read it all the time! I am hoping to be able to make my other children books of their story too someday. I hope that they grow up to feel that each of us has our own unique story and that God has chosen to intertwine our stories into a beautiful book that will bring Him glory!

New Friends!

Yeah! Today we got to meet some new friends...Amy, Clint and Simeon! They came to town for a little get-away and we got to meet for the first time! Of course, I feel like I've know them forever! It was so amazing seeing Micah and Simeon together, knowing that just 2 short years ago, they were sharing a crib in the same orphanage in India! God is so good! Simeon is such a little social bug and he made fast friends with my girls right away. Micah had tons of questions about Simeon before we met, and after meeting pronounced, "I like Simeon!" I thank God for the friendships He has brought into our lives through adoption!

The Sound of Music

My family loves to watch musicals, and one of our favorites is The Sound of Music! Today a quote from that movie has been running through my head..."When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window!"

Ever since Micah's adoption, I have thought in my heart that I would like to adopt again. I would like for Micah to have a sister from his birth country! My husband...not quite so sure. Actually, in the beginning he would say, "Woman you are crazy!" :) Now when I mention it, he just smiles and says, "One thing at a time, please!" I think God and I are wearing him down. LOL

With all that has happened in our lives over the last 2 years, it has definitely not been the right time. Still, during this walk through our valley, I have begun to look at different adoption websites and their "waiting children" a little more closely. To be honest, I have actually made inquiries about 2 specific little girls at different times. The door was closed right away on one and just today, I heard that the door is probably being closed on the other. Although I feel a sadness, there is also a sense of peace.

How is this possible? It is strange, but when we began our adoption with Micah, we had a list of three "musts" that we took to our adoption agency. One country was a fit, but right away God began closing the doors. So, I decided to compromise on our "musts" and choose another county that fit 2 out of the 3. That very next morning, before I could even call our caseworker, she e-mailed me and told me that the country I was looking at the night before had just closed it's doors. I just said, "Praise the Lord!" Her response was, "What? That is not usually the response that we get when we give bad news." I told her, "Our prayer from the beginning has been that God would lead. That He would open doors and close doors where we did not belong. He has just slammed this door in our face, so I know that He is answering our prayers in a personal way and that He is taking part in this adoption process!" Today I kind of feel the same way. I must admit that my heart was getting attached to this little girl, but it seems God is closing this door.

Once again I hear a faint "sound of music" as I sense God acting on our behalf in ways that I yet cannot see. So, I will just be patient, enjoy my children, and watch closely for that open window!

Mother's Day 2011!

I am a very proud mommy of 4 children! Nothing for me has ever been more exhausting or more rewarding! :) God has blessed me with 4 amazing little personalities!

1. Hallie - My tender-hearted middle-schooler who loves school and LOVES to read!
2. Emma - My emotional fashionista who loves school and LOVES sports!
3. Nathan - My little man who is growing up too quickly, who LOVES Scooby Doo, spies, and super heros!
4. Micah - My baby boy who keeps me hopping 24 hours a day and who LOVES chocolate!

This week one of my favorite radio stations was airing programs on adoption, moms, etc. On one of the programs about adoption, the speaker said something that really struck me. We often hear people say, "These are our children..., and this is our adopted son/daughter..." Now, as an adoptive mother, and for those other adoptive moms out there, we know that there is no difference in how we feel about our children, no matter how they got to us. I often forget that Micah was even adopted. He might as well have been born into our family, and in a way, I believe He was. When God created Micah in his mother's womb, He knew that Micah would come to join our family, and I believe he was created for that purpose!

The speaker on this program, did not like the concept of saying, "this is my "adopted" son/daughter," as if that somehow defined who they are. He reminded the audience that "adopted" is a legal event that happened at one point in the past. After that, we are all just children! As believers, we have been adopted by God, at the point of our salvation, but after that, we are considered just "children of God, and joint heirs with Jesus!" Romans 8:15-17 God does not see us any differently than His own son after that! Such an act of undeserved mercy and grace!

So, today I reflect on God's grace and I thank Him for loaning me my children, whether by birth or adoption, to raise for a time, for His glory!

Three Years Old!

It is hard for me to believe that my baby boy is 3 years old! He has grown so much in the last year...2 inches and 2 lbs! He talks all day long, loves his brother and sisters and is his mommy and daddy's "buddy!" His favorite activity right now is to sit with his daddy's i-phone and scan through the pictures and videos from Disney World! A Toy Story, or Stoy Story birthday as he calls it, was a must. He had been asking daily since Christmas, "My birfday next? My birfday coming up? I be three?" Almost every person he met got a personal invitation to his birthday party! His only request this year...walkie talkies! Of course, mommy came through! No gift I could ever give him, however, would compare with the gift that I received when God brought Micah into our family!

"Gotcha Day #2"

It's hard for me to believe that tomorrow, February 19th, is "Gotcha Day #2!" Or, our 2nd "Forever Family Day," as we like to call it! It just seems like yesterday that we were in India picking Micah up.

Last year I was very sick for Micah's Gotcha Day. I had just started chemo and could not do anything. My husband and my mother saved the day by cooking an Indian meal and decorating, and then, with David's parents in attendance, we celebrated Micah's entrance into our family.

This year, my oldest daughter is going to be gone to a church youth retreat, so we have done small things to celebrate all weekend. Last night, I cooked Chicken Curry and Brown Rice and we all gathered in the boys room at bedtime to say a special prayer of thanks to God for how he fashioned our family and brought us all together. This morning it has just been Micah and me. We have watched Micah's homecoming video together, danced to music while we emptied the dishwasher, we have eaten leftover Chicken Curry, I have watched him blow bubbles with his gum (his new favorite trick) and I have listened to him play songs on his guitar! It has been a great morning!

Happy 2nd "Forever Family Day" Micah, and welcome to the family...again! I would not trade you for the world!

Coffee and Adoption

One thing our adoption from India has given me is new friends. I have been able to communicate with women all over the United States and they have inspired and encouraged me before, during, and even after our adoption process. Most of these women are just names and pictures, but they have become a part of my life, forever, I hope!

One of these new friends is Kristi. She and her husband are on their third adoption from India and they could use your help. If you like coffee, or if you know someone who does, please have them check out this coffee company that she talks about below. I hope you are able to help and enjoy the coffee!

All of my Facebook friends...please help and spread the word! :) Jason and I are selling organic fair trade coffee to raise money for the last $3,500 of our adoption expenses for Ajay. $5 from each bag of coffee sold will go directly to Dillon Int'l, from the Just Love Coffee Company. Please spread the word, and post this on your status!!!!!
Go to: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/AjayArish

JustLoveCoffee Store

www.justlovecoffee.com

Martian Child

Tonight, as a family, we watched the movie "Martian Child" with John Cusack. I just want to say, "It is a wonderful movie about adoption!" We have had the movie forever and just never sat down to watch it. Needless to say, after adopting ourselves, we could not help but cry. One of our favorite lines from the movie comes when the main character's sister is trying to gently ask him if he is really ready for a child. He turns to her and says, "I know all the arguments about not bringing another child into this world, but what's wrong with loving one that is already here?" Awesome question! If you have never seen this movie, we highly recommend it to everyone!

Snow Days and Nicknames!

I must admit that I was not looking forward to Christmas break ending. I love being home with my kids and having nowhere we have to be. However, time moves on, and we got everything ready and headed back to school. Three days later...enter snowstorm! We have been off of school again this entire week! Yeah! The kids have had so much fun as you can tell from the pictures. The snow came down fast and beautifully and if it were not for the bitter cold, the kids would have played outside for hours...except for Micah. He is not sure that he likes the cold. They tried to take him sledding, but soon he was headed back inside with a runny nose, cold toes and freezing fingers. :) He wanted his blanket and the fire turned on!

All the kiddos have done very well about playing together inside too. We have literally been stuck as we could not get out of our subdivision. One of the funniest things to me is that they have come up with nicknames for each other. All day long I hear Micah calling for these mysterious people...and they come! I cannot help but laugh and I don't know where in the world they came up with the names. Emma is "momma," Hallie is "aunty Lou," Nathan is "Billy," and Micah is "Max." It is so funny at night to hear Micah telling them all "good night" using their nicknames. :)

I consider that this last week and the snow storm were a small gift to us, allowing us this extra time together uninterrupted! I guess I must come back to reality though since school will start back tomorrow. It will be back to just Micah and me during the day. I know he will miss his brothers and sisters. Today I am praising God for the blessing of our family!