- THE DECISION - Before trying to get pregnant, you usually have conversations like, "Are we ready to have a baby?" "Can we do this financially?" "Is this the right time to expand our family?" "How will it affect our lives as we know it?" These are some of the same questions you ask yourselves as you are starting on the paperwork trail in adoption.
- ITS POSITIVE - Pretty self-explanatory...the positive pregnancy test...no turning back. This was kind of how I felt when we went on the waiting list for a referral. We made it, we're here now, no turning back.
- THE WAIT - There is the wait till 20 weeks when you can find out the sex of the baby, or in adoption, the wait for the referral...who is my child going to be? Then there is the next phase of waiting for the birth, and for adopting families, the wait to travel and pick up your child.
- PHOTO - Every pregnant mom remembers their first ultrasound. Wow, baby's first photo...even though it doesn't do our beautiful baby justice. :) The referral photo is just like that. Our first glimpse of our beautiful baby...and it doesn't do them justice as anyone can tell from looking back at referral photos. :)
- THE UNKNOWN - Not knowing details about what your baby is going to be like and not knowing full details about their health is scary. Doctors run all sorts of tests on mom and baby and can scare you with the possibilities of things that could go wrong. The occasional medical reports or updates from your child's birth country can also be very intimidating.
- THE LAST MONTH - This is a miserable time for any mom. :) Your baby could arrive any day, or it could still be 4 weeks away. You are so anxious for the baby to arrive, and yet don't have everything ready yet. That last minute wait for passports or permission to travel is a killer.
- THE TRIP - This is something every pregnant mom and every adoptive mom fantasize about the whole journey. What is my experience going to be like? The trip to the hospital and the trip to the orphanage can be the longest trip you have ever taken in your life!
- THE GIFT - Your baby! Whether the baby comes out of your tummy, or out of another mom's tummy, the result is the same! You are suddenly handed a beautiful gift, created completely and totally by God! You are overwhelmed with love and emotion, exhaustion and uncertainty, thankfulness and joy!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Giving Birth and Adoption
Yesterday in the van my girls were having a conversation in the back seat about how they came from my tummy, but Micah didn't. I gave them the typical answer you always hear..."I carried you in my tummy and Micah in my heart." Later though, after analyzing things as I do, I regretted saying that. :) Really, I carried them ALL in my heart long before I knew them. I guess it got me to thinking about the similarities between a pregnancy and an adoption even though the majority of people think they are worlds apart.
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9 comments:
Great post and so true!
Julie R
Thank you Candice! That was a perfect summary of how I have imagined it. Counting the days until my beautiful Pryanka is in my arms forever!
While we don't have Dorothy home yet, I do often think about the similarities thus far. We've had three children by birth, and I find myself making comparisons of how my heart is feeling. I couldn't agree more with so many of these!
The other one that stood out to me was when to announce things to friends. Some people choose not to announce a pregnancy until risk of miscarriage is lessened. Each time with us, we told friends and family after the home test- wanting them to share in the joy, and share in prayer. This was no different; we announced it to friends and family the day we knew we'd say "yes" . Again, better to share in the joy and the prayers. Then, should something unforeseen happen, we also have their support.
Tisra
waiting for NOC
http://www.bdhq.net
Thanks for the post, Candice. I've thought many of those things, but never have been able to explain it so well. I'm so glad you're still writing your thoughts out.
Loved this post!
I'll add one more -- the flight home was pretty comparable to labor! (And lasted longer than labor, in my case!) There was sore muscles, pain, fatigue, vomiting (Anya Rashi, not me) . . . and the joy of those final steps off the plane felt an awful lot like the relief of being done with labor. :o)
-- Nancy
Candace-Well I believe that u said it very well. So I guess we just continue to stay in the waiting phase and like u said no turning back now,Gidget
True! I'm glad you are putting your thoughts into words. Keep on blogging!
:) Kristi
Candice, this is a wonderful post. You put so many of my thoughts into perfect words. Having a child is an amazing adventure regardless of how our precious children enter our families.
April :-)
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