Kings and Queens

Heard a song last week on the radio that I had not heard before.  I'm sure that it has been out there for a while, but I just started hearing it on the radio.  This could be in part that I rarely get to listen to the radio in my car because of my children fighting with each other, or all singing at the top of their lungs (and 4 different songs too sometimes), or, which is usually the case, they want to watch a movie.  I did finally figure out how to move the sound away from the front and only to the back...this is after of year of me hearing movies blaring from the front of the van so that they could hear it clear in the back.  Can't tell you how many movies I've heard, but never seen!  Oh, well!

I love this song called "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline.  Maybe it is resonating so much with my heart for adoption right now since I have friends in China this week picking up 2 special needs children they are adding to their family!  If you've never heard it before, give it a listen!

Little hands, shoeless feet, lonely eyes looking back at me

Will we leave behind the innocent to brief

On their own, on the run when their lives have only begun

These could be our daughters and our sons

And just like a drum I can hear their hearts beating

I know my God won't let them be defeated

Every child has a dream to belong and be loved

Boys become kings, girls will be queens

Wrapped in Your majesty

When we love, when we love the least of these

Then they will be brave and free

Shout Your name in victory

When we love, when we love the least of these

When we love the least of these

Break our hearts once again

Help us to remember when

We were only children hoping for a friend

Won't you look around

These are the lives that the world has forgotten

Waiting for doors of our hearts and our homes to open

If not us, who will be like Jesus

To the least of these

If not us, tell me who will be like Jesus

Like Jesus to the least of these

My Hero

Before I had kids, I liked babies and that was about it.  I even remember wondering what I would do once my own kids got out of the "baby" stage!  I have to look back now and laugh a little at how crazy I was.  The truth is, I have loved EVERY stage as my children have grown!  I love watching them learn new things and grow!  I love watching them venture out into independance and then see them come asking for advice!  Of course my husband would probably say that is mostly because I love to "give" advice whether or not it was asked for. :)

I must say that one of my favorite stage is where Micah is now.  He loves playing superhero, especially the Avengers!  It has been Captain America everything for months, and then the day after Halloween, it has been Thor!  All he wanted for Christmas was a real Thor hammer with lightning!  This is actually the only gift I have ever driven to another city to purchase.  I did not want him to be disappointed since his little heart was so set on it.  We were not disappointed.  He loved it (although a little disappointed that it did not make "real" lightning) and even took it to church the first Sunday!

There are a lot of things I love about Micah's little obsession right now.  I love that he wants to be one of the good guys!  I love that he thinks once he puts on the costume he is invincible and has superpowers.
     M: Mom, can you find some "real" bad guys?
     Me: Why do you want me to find real bad guys?
     M: So I can practice fighting them.
     Me: I don't think so.  Bad guys scare me.
     M: Don't worry mom, I will protect you.  I just need my costume and my shield!

It truely is priceless time, and although I have been exhausted this year, I realize I have been given a special gift in having this year alone with him while the other kids are in school.  He is  my little hero!

How Time Flies!

I truly feel like Micah has been part of our family since his birth.  And actually, I guess he has been, even before he was born.  Five years ago (yesterday), we filed our application to adopt from India.  While he was still in his birth mother's tummy, God was preparing our family for him to join us!

Our application to adopt was filed September 24 and 1 year later, on the same date, we got the call for Micah's referral!  Too cool!  Many, many miracles happened (too many to recount here today) to make this possible.  But looking back, we realize we were blessed beyond measure!  At the time of Micah's referral, it seemed like a family was traveling every month to pick up their child, so we not only got to see a referral photo (below), but we got to see a current photo of him at 6 months old (above)!  Those huge dark chocolate eyes, and pouty lips.  Needless to say, I fell in love immidiately...and forever!

In the Waiting

To me, these two signs perfectly represent what International adoption from India is like right now.  And I'm not even in process!  There are many who find themselves "in the waiting" right now with no certain or clear picture of what lies ahead of them on this journey.  It is difficult for us, as we begin to talk about starting another adoption journey, to know exactly how to read these signs.  Do we need to buckle our seat belts, and proceed toward India and the unknown with caution, or do we turn aside and begin to investigate another country?  Right now, we have the liberty to make that decision.  For those friends of ours, and those we don't know, I just wanted to share a word of encouragement that I came across this week.

Job, speaking from a place of total hopelessness and no control over his own life, speaks these words to his friends...

Job 9:4-11 (NLT)

For God is so wise and so mighty.  Who has ever challenged him successfully?

"Without warning, he moves the mountains, overturning them in his anger.

He shakes the earth from it's place, and it's foundations tremble.

If he commands it, the sun won't rise and the stars won't shine.

He alone has spread out the heavens and marches on the waves of the sea.

He made all the stars - the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.

He does great things too marvelous to understand.

He performs countless miracles."

Yet when he comes near, I cannot see him.

When he moves by, I do not see him go.

I was reminded that God is always working for his children.  We may not see what he is doing, but we can rest with confidence that he is actively moving and the God who places the sun and stars in their place, and holds the oceans at bay, can easily bring his children to their forever home!  Nothing can stop him from working his purpose!

Psalms 37:7a

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act!

Easter Eggs

                                                                 
One of my favorite little games that Micah plays, is a word game.  It goes something like this.

Micah: Mom, you know how I love you?

Me: How much do you love me?

Micah: Ummmm...all the way to the ceiling!

Me: Wow, that's alot of love!  You know how I love you?

Micah: How?

Me: All the way to India (or Colorado, or to Aunt Cheri's, or some other far off location)

Micah: You know how I love you?

Me: How much?

Micah: This tiny.  (Here he gives me a big grin and holds up two little fingers close together)

Me: No way! It's this much! (This is when I open his arms wide and tickle him silly)

Today I was thinking about how I love this little game he plays, and how much it breaks my heart to think that he might ever question whether or not he was meant to be part of our family.  I thought of the discussions we've had recently about the color of his skin.  Then, for some reason, maybe because we just had Easter, I thought of eggs!  I know it's not very theological, but it seems to fit.  We are all the same on the inside...created in the image of a beautiful God.  We have blood, bones, muscle, a heart and a soul.  Our outsides, however, are very different.  Our shells, have been painted and designed by a very creative God!  And it's a marvelously wonderful thing that we are each unique!  I hope all my children grow up believing this simple, fantastic truth!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!

Well, it's happened. I did not expect it really till Kindergarten. All the books said that Kindergarten was about the time when kids would start to ask questions because of a sudden awareness brought on by comments from their school friends. Micah will turn 4 in a couple of weeks, and the questions have been coming this month like a whirlwind.

• Did you know I am brown?
• Why am I brown?
• I want to be white like you!
• Am I dark or light?
• Who was in your tummy?
• Was I in your tummy?

Micah knows his story...the story of how he came to be part of our family. He watches his homecoming video all the time, reads his "Micah's Story," book, etc. We talk all the time about how God designs families and He puts them together in all different kinds of ways. This particular vein of questioning, however, is new.

One thing that has been so helpful, is that we are being intentional about finding friends who look like us! When he starts to question, I first remind Micah that God created him brown for a reason and that I LOVE his brown color. Then, we go over other families we know who are like us! I will say, "Remember Jake (Micah's new best friend) is brown and his mommy is white? And, Eli is brown and his brother is white! And our friend Suhas is brown and his wife, Abby, is white!" "Oh, yeah," he'll say with a grin, and that seems to satisfy him for the moment. Another big help to me has been Psalms 139. I remind him that God says he is "fearfully and wonderfully made," and that when God "formed him in the womb," He made him exactly like He wanted him and for a wonderful purpose! I am so honored that I get to be mommy to this wonderful, inquisitive little boy from India!

Managing Memories

I am reading an excellant book by Mark Batterson, called "Soul Print." In chapter 2 Mark talks about the importance of Lifesymbols in remembering important things from our past and how God was faithful in and through each experience. At one point he mentions...

"One of my earliest and strongest memories is the first time I rode a bike. Part of the reason the memory is so strong is because I've heard my parents tell the story so many times. And that is one of the jobs of parents. They manage their children's memories by the stories they tell, the keepsakes they save, and the pictures they take."

This made me stop to think about the memories I am helping to manage for all my children, but especially Micah's. We made him a memory book of "his story" of becoming part of our family and he loves to read it all the time. He even makes up "memories" of when he was a baby in India. However, I started to wonder if that was enough.

This month is National Adoption Awareness Month, and we recently had an Adoption Awareness Sunday at our church. We invited speaker and author, Ted Kluck, to come and speak. He is the author of the book, "Hello, I Love You," and it is the story of their adoption journey to their two boys from the Ukraine. Part of the book was bits and pieces of the journal letters he wrote to his first son during his adoption process. Their family had an extremely difficult adoption experience, but throughout the story was woven threads of joy and beauty in the process that he wanted to remember so that he could share these things with his sons as they got older.

Of course I was reminded of my time in India as we traveled to bring Micah home. Our process was extremely smooth, but I had a very difficult time in the country and came back with some very negative feelings and little desire to go back. I was reminded by our dear caseworker that I needed to give it time, but I also needed to remember the good things about our time there and maybe even write them down. This would enable me to begin to look on my sons birth country with fondness and maybe even love as we shared the memories together as he grows and wants to know more of his story.

This was a fantastic idea, and as the years begin to pass by since Micah's adoption experience, I find myself remembering more and more the good things over the difficult. I am taking the task seriously to manage Micah's memories and I hope that as he grows, the memories will fill him with joy and thanksgiving!